The language of silence across cultures

Top Tip: Attitudes to silence are differentt across cultures. It’s crucial to understand what those attitudes are when speaking with diverse cultures, to achieve effective communication!

We’ve all come across stereotypes that some cultures are “too loud”, while some “hardly ever talk”. But what actually informs these assumptions? Is there the right amount of silence before it becomes awkward, and the right amount of speaking before it becomes excessive? Let’s find out!

Turn-taking and the right amount of silence

Every culture has its own idea of a comfortable pause. For some, up to several minutes of hesitation before an answer may be the norm, for others it’s commonly acceptable to interrupt and take your turn to talk.

Listening-Cultures

In listening cultures, the pauses between verbal exchanges are necessary. They allow time to process the information and think of an appropriate response. Silence is a language on its own and it’s a key to polite communication.

Africa

In many African cultures, a “longer” pause in the conversation has a positive connotation. It means that people are comfortable, enjoying each other’s company without and not feeling the need to fill the silence with words.

Northern European Countries

Countries like Finland, Norway and Sweden, for example, practice the art of listening and thoughtfulness. It may sound counterintuitive, but for these cultures, the less you speak and the more you think, the more engaged you appear in the conversation.

Indian Subcontinent

Countries of the Indian Subcontinent, such as India, Pakistan and Nepal are considered collectivist cultures [1]. This characteristic manifests itself in how people communicate. It’s not commonly acceptable to express disagreement publically. If an individual has a differing opinion from the rest of the group, he or she will choose to remain silent.

East Asia

East Asian communication customs often perplex Westerners.

Take Japan as an example. In certain context, the pauses in the dialogue may last up to several minutes! The Japanese believe that genuine understanding starts from within. There is even a special concept for their non-verbal communication – “Haragei”. Its literal translation is “the stomach art”, which refers to implicit, rather than verbalised, exchange of thoughts and intentions.

Researchers have found that the Japanese silence takes multiple dimensions, or serves multiple purposes: truthfulness, social discretion, embarrassment and defiance [2]. This explains why it’s so difficult for foreigners to interpret the silence correctly.

Speaking-Cultures

Western European and Anglo-Saxon Countries

The Western, especially Anglophone, cultures are much more direct. Because “time is money”, decisions are expected to be made and communicated promptly. Long pauses cause the feeling of tension, and can be a sign of indifference and disengagement. Silence also causes embarrassment and awkwardness. The speakers then try to fill it with more talking, questions, or at least interjections like “uhm” and “you know”.

Latin Cultures

In Latin America, it’s normal to interrupt and talk over each other. Silence may signify a lack of interest and involvement. That’s why people of “less talkative” cultural backgrounds often experience miscommunication when interacting with these cultures.

Hierarchical Cultures

In highly hierarchical cultures, among which are Asian and Arabic, silence is a form of respect.

In one of my blogs, I discussed the concept of Face-saving, or the Asian “politeness”. In this regard, silence is used to avoid undesired tension, disagreement or embarrassment. People may choose to speak less to maintain each other’s Face and harmony in a social situation.

Cultures which are strong on power distance, typically give more say to senior or more authoritative members of the group. Others are expected to refrain from speaking until they are given permission to. Interfering, openly disagreeing or arguing with a person of status would be a serious violation.

Conclusion

Silence in conversation may have a lot of unexpected meanings. It can be used to intimidate, to display respect, to avoid undesired reaction and save face. It can also indicate that the speakers are comfortable and don’t feel the urge to fill the pauses. It’s crucial to be sensitive to the cultural differences, since misinterpreting the silence can have a high cost for your communication.

References:

Hofstede, G. (2001) [1984]. Culture’s Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviours, Institutions and Organizations across nations. London: Sage.

Lebra, T. S. (1987). “The cultural significance of silence in Japanese communication”. Multilingua-Journal of Cross-Cultural and Interlanguage Communication. 6 (4): 343–358.